& the Lowya Buluk speaks

Dear beloved classmates,

Flattered as I am by the attention bestowed upon me - which our dear Tok Bomoh claims is an honour that has thus far only been awarded to the demigod & Jarley - & touched as I am by the concern you all (ie. Tok Kong Bomoh, the tutor, the Donut-taker, Aminah, Ah Wa [or is it Ah Pieng? The horny one lah basically], Lau Bu & Jarley) seem to have over my single status, I would like to once & for all state clearly that unlike Jarley, I do not crave attention in such a manner as you have seen fit to give me.

There are many reasons why my tolerance level went past the threshold level today, none of them being anywhere close to the suggestion that it may be because I like a certain someone whose name shall not be revealed. I have laughed off the past year of jokes as much as I could, but today, it has surpassed the threshold frequency & the electrons orbitting around me are already threatening to go off course. I am afraid of what might happen if they do - they might hit someone or might cause me to emit radiation, fates which I do not wish upon anyone in the class as I love you all too much.

My reasons are simple.

One, because it is a lie, a fabrication based on nothing but wild imagination. Which is fine, seeing as most of our Family stories revolve around such nonsensical fantastical things. But not when it has gone overboard to the point it is today or involves an outsider unfamiliar to the Ways of the NL Family. On top of that, this fabrication is totally, completely, & utterly baseless - unlike the other plots concocted by us, which always had some small element of fact in them (even if only 1.0 x 10^-30 per cent).

Two, because it is a matter of reputation. Said outsiders who are unfamiliar to the Ways of the NL Family might get the impression that my humble Lowya Buluk self is a desperate bachelorette who talks about nothing but relationships all day & thus causing the whole Family to also talk about the same topic. This may seem far-fetched, but it is a highly logical conclusion that can be easily made if the facts available to you are limited to "this class always talks about ___ & ___". Just because our Family frequently discusses the topic of ___ & ___'s relationship does not mean it can be confirmed as truth, but others might not know that it is mere speculation. I do not wish to be known as desperate or frivolous, thus this reason.

There are other reasons, but I will not bog you down with them. I believe that these two reasons are sufficient to make my stand clear & to make you understand my position.

I refuse to tolerate this any longer & if it were to come up in the future, I will not stand by & listen to it & laugh along as I always have. My threshold frequency is evidently lower than Ah Chai's.

Thus, I seek your co-operation & understanding in this.

If all else fails, I will have to resort to drastic measures. Do not force me to invoke the name of the demigod.


Yours in NL,

Lowya Buluk
A-Zhen & Co.