You are our Candle in The WInd (which inCidentally was made by fractional distillation from crude oil through a process called.....)

LAU BU
YOU WILL BE SORELY MISSED

14TH mARCH 1900- (WE FORGOT) ,2008

Lau Bu died at a date the writer forgot (but what's important is that she left us). She died due to depression and her long battle with breast cancer (which incidentally also raged through Tua Neng Bu, thus invalidating her name.)





People are reminded that Tua Neng Bu is still nyanyuk and sesat and still thinks Lau Bu lives. You are reminded that the Akta Rahsia Rasmi Kerajaan PM4 applies to you also. You are not allowed to mention Lau Bu to Tua Neng BU. When she brings up the topic of Lau BU, stuff biscuits in her mouth and wash it down wif milk (melamine tainted or not). Keep your receipts - they are claimable)





Chaioate has been reminded of the need to go for a breast examination and is reminded that some Charity Organisations offer aid in paying for 1.








Her wake was held at the J Co outlet at Sunway Pyramid. But back to our beloved Lau Bu. Her death has been to some, a source of inconsolable sorrow and rage (rage due to her not revealing her will before she died). To others it was to great relief and euphoria (Read: the maids).





One notable fact in a message sent to the whole family was that all the donations in kind had to be made to Chaioate. The Bomoh on that day warned against doing such a thing for Lau BU's spirit might have been angered by Chaioate's apparent greed. The Bomoh provided an excellent remedy: He was to collect the donations and get to keep 40% of it ( so as to mask the apparent greed by Lau Bu's elder daughter)





The funeral started with a procession, a Dark Parade, in which My Chemical Romance actually performed ( partly a tribute to the Fairy god Mother Nyoke Lee.) but a notable change to the lyrics was this:





When I was a young boy,


My MOTHER took me into the city...





this was done to placate Tua Neng Bu, or should we say Bo Neng Bu.








The procession went to all the IKO biscuit and J CO outlets in Malaysia (Cases of food poisoning from consumption of their products very coincidentally coincided with the very day the Procession was held. The Bomoh blamed it on Lau Bu's grief at leaving. More logical people blamed it on the fact that a ceremony done had caused it: Lau Bu had been brought out of the casket and made to smell the JCo donuts and IKO biscuits- The Bomoh claimed this would make sure she wasn't hungry during her journey to the Paradise of Chemicals whicj was filled with esters and Burettes housing top quality alcohol.








The Bomoh has come under fire for not lengthening Lau BU's life. The Bomoh Could not be reahed for comment about this. Although it is widely known that the Bomoh once performed a LIfe lengthening ceremony, in which Chaioate fed two of his own babies to Lau Bu at a J CO outlet while being photographed smiling.








Ko couldn't do anything but ngerrr when reached for comment. (there are rumours that he had an affair with Lau Bu- he was attracted to her -i would rather not mention here)





Little Girl was reported to actually be laughing when Lau BU died while Chaioate was looking for flaws in the pants he bought. Meanwhile Bomoh was at Lau BU's side all the time. But her death was not a sad one ( we think so la, Bomoh oso say so, sure correct 1). She was taken to a dinner at the infamous Jalan Alor where she feasted on or-chien, sate and other Malaysian delectables. Lau Bu's beloved son-in-law was claimed to be spotted to be in the same room as one of Lau BU's son in laws for reasons that are not known or cannot be known for fear of visits by THe Jabatan Agama Islam.





The employees, all the maids were given a public holiday on the day of the wake ( a reason why none of them attended the wake but instead went to petaling street to buy the fake version LV bags - the same one owned by Fairy God Mother Yap (whose one was original, naturally).








Her will is yet to be read by Lowya BUluk, thus making her reputation and name more valid, but there are rumours that Tua Neng Bu actually has all the assets and recently used it all to buy biscuits and milk (which were all melamine tainted). On that note, the Chinese Governemnt thanks Tua Neng BU for making the milk in China's market now all melamine free.





Seeing such unjustice, 7 days after the funeral, when the family went into anarchy, Justice Pao came into the scene. Some girls who find him hot have codenamed him Sang Yoke Pao.





His mission is to bring justice back to the family. He says he also wants to practice pancunging wrong peple again.





But the forefront seems very different. No one respects Justice Pao nad he has done nothing so far. It probably reflects the nolstalgia and sentiments of the Family that we want our Lau Bu Back.








But the very wisdomful Bomoh knows better (he could be contacted for this comment, strangely....)








we all know, times of peace as revealed in revelation, can only come with the return of The OTHER 'BO NENG' GIRL