Monday, October 13, 2008

SPOTTED: Lau Bu


SPOTTED: Lau Bu leaving the SJMC Radioscopy Centre accompanied by Tua Neng Bu, frown on his(her) face & spirits low, carrying a file that looked suspiciously like a medical report. Sources from inside the centre [whose names we obviously can't reveal or they'll be fired for disclosing private information] tell us that Lau Bu has been diagnosed with Stage 3 Terminal Cancer. The doctors have given him(her) only a few months more.

Well, that certainly explains (or does it?) Lau Bu's recent announcement that he(she) will be officially disowning his(her) Cha Bo Kia, one-half of the (in)famous J.Ko Donut owners, Jason Chaioate. The question on everyone's lips is, with Lau Bu disowning Jason Chaioate, who will inherit Lau Bu's business empire?

The Lau Bu business empire is a massive one, sprawling a wide range of companies including:
  • Chocolate Milk production - a legacy from Lau Bu's mother, Tua Neng Bu. Also the humble roots of the Lau Bu empire
  • IKO Biscuit production - which is expanding, especially with the new mini-movie, "Daniel the Biscuit Boy", which features IKO Biscuits, causing a surge in sales
  • Lau Bu Labs - which is expected to receive a Nyoke Lee prize award for outstanding research in Lau Bunian motion
  • Out-of-the-Hitchhiker's-Guide's Studios - whose latest movie, Mamma Miss Yap, has become a success both critically & commercially, the movie becoming the Highest-Earning Movie Ever in the Pee Am Four Box Office, grossing an amount so impossibly high that people may just start flying without wings. The Soundtrack to the movie has also been well-received, with its single, Mamma Miss Yap, breaking into the Pee Am Four Charts at #1
& that's not even half of the family business.

So, to whom will the responsibility of carrying the family name fall on? Will it be Ah Beng, Lau Bu's other daughter, who is currently the CEO of LolliPop Ltd., yet another branch of Lau Bu's massive empire. Or will it be Chee Ko Pek, the other half of Jason Chaioate? Rumour has it that the two are now seeking a divorce, but the volatile couple have been on & off again ever since they got together. The deaths of their 8 J.Ko donuts are partly to blame, but even if the rumours were true, Lau Bu has always had a soft spot for Chee Ko Pek. Besides, the research in Lau Bunian motion, which won Lau Bu the Nyoke Lee Prize in Physics, was mooted by Chee Ko Pek. With such creative potential, could Lau Bu, then, possibly pass the torch to his son-in-law, even if he(she) were to disown Jason Chaioate?

& then there are the other members in the not-so-immediate family. Lau Bu has been known to make strange decisions in the past. It would not be surprising if Lau Bu were to decide to leave his(her) empire to one of the many non-blood-related assistants in the family.

The family attorney, Low Ya Buluk from A-Zhen & Co., has refused to give a statement on behalf of the family. "You'll know when you know," she said.

Keep reading for the latest updates!

You know you love us.

XOXO,

The Family

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